~emotions unleashed~

It's been a long time since i used this blog...i shall not blog bout daily entries anymore unless it's worth mentioning....i shall blog bout my feelings...

Oh man!!!! i feel so shitty n crappy!!!!! i feel so confused so upset so frustrated... n yet i cant pinpoint wats wrong with me!!! mayb its the homework or pw or tat special someone or my attitude towards sch....i wanna get away ...go to a place far away from al this...i wanna scream at the beach!!! i wanna b alone!!! i wan a hug!!! a hug from anyone to say its ok juz cry...n i wil cry like there's no tmr...

seriously, i dont know wats up with me...i m like so different now compared to the past...i may appear to be ok in front of al of u...but wen i m alone...i feel so different...n if u have not realised...i m actually more matured than last year...in a sense tat i toned down alot n not as happy as I used to b...not as cranky as I used to b n not the gal who cracks crazy jokes like last time...

oh man!!! homework is really driving me crazy...i dont know i feel so demoralised...i really wanna ace my subjects this year...its really bad to feel like u r a J1.5 student...but i dont know wats wrong with me still...i m such a procrastinator...i know tat i ought to b studying real hard...i ought to b performing well for my tests...i studied real hard at first...n den i slacken again...i just dont have the discipline to continue studying...n i really dont understand chem phy econ n gp n yet i m not doing anything about it!!!

N PW just sucks...y cant i ever get away with this irritating, brain-cells killing n time consuming subject!!! this just sucks so much!!!! i just hope to get my result really fast...

N him...oh man... "should i b happy tat we r frens or sad tat it will always stay tat way???" but i m contended just to stay as frens...at least i know tat i m not just a hi-bye fren...n as frens we r quite close...but i just have such low self-esteem...i know tat nth wil ever come out of this...but i continue to let myself fall deeply into this traphole...my feelings r getting stronger... oh man...n i feel so upset...

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!