~sad~

i m feeling damn terrible now...y is it tat everytime some ppl have to say bout my weight like I freaking know tat i m fat but do u have to keep talking bout it...it only makes me feel even worse bout myself...i really dont wanna get too affected by it al but i juz cant help it...i have really low self-esteem....I JUZ CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!! seriously, i have tot of ending my life n al (tat's how serious it is) juz tat I really dont have the courage to do it...n also its quite dumb to commit suicide cos u r fat n al....tats y i m scared to step out into the public n would rather juz rot in my room yes!!!! my room!!! even my family keeps harping on it like my cousin!!! u r blessed with gd genes. n i felt damn hurt wen u said my legs resembled tree trunks!!! FUCK!!!! n my aunt 'fat means fat already... go diet for wat' i know u guys said it in a bid to make me more motivated to lose weight but no!!!! it does not!!!!! i feel even worse bout myself n would skip al my meals. i really hate it!!!!!!! n seriously whoever is gonna say i m fat over the next few days...i guess i wil juz break down... i m sick of pretending to laugh wen u guys joke bout my weight wen deep down inside me...i m crying...n yes even as I type this post...I teared while trying really hard to fight back those tears....so PS! juz stop it will ya????!!!!!